The scene opens back to Hooch Central where Lady Pumpkin is snooping around.
Fred: Aw that dame has gone and done something to do her herself in, she spends most of her time drunk, it was only a matter of time before she did something stupid.
Hooch: Now Fred, she may be drunk all the time, but that hardly qualifies her to run around doing anything illegal
Syke: tell me about it, that there lady does nothing but mope around the plantation and hang around the bar here,
Sparky Renfrew: and hit on innocent handsome young men…
Fred: You only wish she hit on you Sparky
Sparky: Hey hey (he turns with a devilish grin to Fred) you're just jealous cause no one wants you
Mac: How much are you willing to bet that she finally got around to knocking off her husband?
We see Lady P. draw closer upon hearing Maccabees comment.
Skye: Now Mac why would you go and say something like that?
Mac: Oh come on, she's been wishing that old geezer would die from the moment they said I do. She only married him for his money.
Skye: (noticing Lady P at that moment) Is there somethan I can git fer you hunney?
Lady P: (somewhat taken off guard) Oh, ah, well, (most people at the bar have turned to look at her, and she puts on a air of superiority to hide the awkwardness of the situation) I don't suppose you would serve Avian here?
Skye: (mockingly) Avian? What do you think this is? A Yacht club? I can get you a glass of water, comes fresh outta the tap.
Lady P: (with a look of disgust) I don't trust the water in Port Caron enough to feed it to my dog, let alone drink it myself. (Realizing she's very unwelcome here, and now unlikely to get what she wants begins her retreat) I suppose I'll have to go to another establishment now (Turns and makes her way out of Hooch central)
Fred: (who hasn’t moved from his hunched position over the bar counter the entire scene) I trust her less than I trust the water
Hooch: The only thing you ever drink is beer Fred
Fred: Neither is very trustworthy
Skye: Now what do you suppose she wus snooping around here fer?
Sparky: Ah she probably just saw the cop car driving down here, and couldn’t stand not knowing what was going on, decided to come in here because she thinks she can hear the gossip from us.
Mac: gossip? That's what old ladies do over tea because they have nothing better to occupy our time.
Fred: that’s right Mac, we only have facts, no undue speculation or prattle
Mac: exactly, we don’t gossip.
The camera pulls away from the bar to get a full shot of everyone there before it cuts back to the booth in Hooch Central. Boo is just finishing up a conversation on her cell phone. Scout South and Sergey are still present with her at the booth.Boo: Alright Spook, I'll talk to you tomorrow, giver Bertie a hug for me all right? ok bye. (presses a button and then sighs) What horrible news.
Sergey: What is it Boo?
Boo: (Shaking her head) Bertie's father, he passed away tonight
Scout: (with an expression of shock) That's terrible, how is she doing?
Boo: not so hot, she's mostly in a state of shock; Spook is going to stay the night with her just in case.
A lull comes over the group for a few moments, and the camera spans through the booth getting a head shot of each of the occupants. Moving from Boo, to Sergey, to Scout, and then back to Sergey.
Sergey: You know, it could be because I'm am not used to this society, but it seems as though this town cannot go a day without some tragedy, or big event passing... Life here, it is never dull, but also it is very complicated.
Bertie: Here?(she responds but through a daze as if in some other realm of her mind)I think everyone's live are complex, and though we all wish it were simple, it is really our own doing that makes it complex. (sighs, and then blinks as if coming out of her daze) That's why I write novels, you take a simple story and tell it well. Everyone's life is ongoing story, full of challenges and quirks, I just take a short segment of that story and let the world know about it.
Scout: whoa, that was profound
Sergey: yes very much so... Did you read that somewhere?
Boo: No, you like it? I should write it in one of my stories, (getting excited) Oh this gives me a good idea for a plot line!
Monday, July 05, 2004
Saturday, July 03, 2004
Scene XIII
The scene opens at the Cottonwood mansion where Bertie and Spook are sitting together on a couch.
Bertie: Now Deputy what is this all about?
Deputy: This is very difficult for me to tell you... (not really showing any signs of remorse) but earlier this evening Mr. Cottonwood was found dead in the library.
Bertie: (shocked) What?
Angel: (cutting in and still drunk) You guys have obviously got your information wrong, nothing can kill that man, believe me I've tried.
Bertie: mother! (flabbergasted, but then attempts to forget the comment, and in turn while shaking her head in disbelief addresses the Deputy) Are you sure there is no mistake officer?
Deputy: No, none, your maid found him while cleaning the house, I'm very sorry miss Cottonwood
Bertie: (tears now streaming down her face) How? How did this happen?
Deputy: We're not quite certain at the moment, we'll know in a day or two what the cause of death was.
Bertie: (very softly) thank you Deputy, you may leave now, I have some business to attend to...
Deputy: Right away ma'am, and like I said we are both very sorry for your loss
The camera zooms into Bertie silently and mindlessly nodding her head in response, the camera then change to the dining room of The Maine Yacht Club. Genevieve Woodlark is sitting alone at a table for two, with an impatient air she sips on a drink and occasionally checks her watch. We see Dr. MacIntosh enter behind her and somewhat rush over to the table.Dr.
Mac: (hastily seating himself in the empty chair) I'm terribly sorry that I'm late.
Genevieve: (her face lighting up with a mischievous smile) I've almost come to expect a delay when waiting for Port Caron's most renowned doctor. I suppose your going to explain why now?
Dr. Mac: There was an emergency at the Cottonwood plantation.
Genevieve: (concerned) Oh dear, is every thing all right?
Dr. Mac: There wasn't much I could do, (pausing slightly but continuing before Genevieve can interrupt) Mr. Cottonwood died earlier tonight.
Genevieve: No! Oh my,
Just then the waiter comes up to the table.
Waiter: Are you ready to order?
Genevieve: (hastily, quite snarkily) Not yet, give us more time
The waiter silently nods and walks awayDr. Mac: It was all very odd, it seems as though he choked, but there’s no evidence of what he could have choked on.
Genevieve: That is odd, (there is a slight lull in the conversation)
Dr. Mac: Well enough of my dreary day, how was yours?
Genevieve: Promising! Amalgamation Makeup is making a proposal to Bunda Burns (Seeing Willy's questioning look) the aerobic coordinator on 'Burn those Buns'. Anyhow we're hoping she'll endorse our products.
Dr. Mac: Aye, that's something special, so you think she'll take the offer?
Genevieve: I think so, but I have a back up plan if she's leery at all
Dr. Mac: Back up plan? What’s that?
Genevieve: Well (leaning forward as if revealing some deep secret) I've found out that my mechanic, down at Rusty Parts, is close friends with Bunda Burns, strangely enough. So we may be able to use her to convince Bunda if ever the need should rise.
Dr. Mac: Now how do you plan on convincing Rusty to convince Bunda
Genevieve: Oh I don't know. I'll worry about that when and if it comes up. I'd probably say something about boosting the economy of Port Caron.
Dr. Mac: (smiling as if greatly humoured by her ambition) Sounds like you have it all worked out
Genevieve: We really want this endorsement, Willy; it would really help our company.
The camera pauses on the expression on Genevieve’s expression and then cuts to Hooch Central where we see Lady P, haughtily walking through the front door, which James has opened for her. She is carrying her precious poodle and looking around down the tip of her nose, wondering where the best place to eavesdrop would be. Lady P approaches the bar upon observing its attendants talking concernedly. Sparky Renfrew, a grease monkey who works at Rusty Parts and Maccabees Montgomery are having a discussion with Fred, Skye and Hooch.
Bertie: Now Deputy what is this all about?
Deputy: This is very difficult for me to tell you... (not really showing any signs of remorse) but earlier this evening Mr. Cottonwood was found dead in the library.
Bertie: (shocked) What?
Angel: (cutting in and still drunk) You guys have obviously got your information wrong, nothing can kill that man, believe me I've tried.
Bertie: mother! (flabbergasted, but then attempts to forget the comment, and in turn while shaking her head in disbelief addresses the Deputy) Are you sure there is no mistake officer?
Deputy: No, none, your maid found him while cleaning the house, I'm very sorry miss Cottonwood
Bertie: (tears now streaming down her face) How? How did this happen?
Deputy: We're not quite certain at the moment, we'll know in a day or two what the cause of death was.
Bertie: (very softly) thank you Deputy, you may leave now, I have some business to attend to...
Deputy: Right away ma'am, and like I said we are both very sorry for your loss
The camera zooms into Bertie silently and mindlessly nodding her head in response, the camera then change to the dining room of The Maine Yacht Club. Genevieve Woodlark is sitting alone at a table for two, with an impatient air she sips on a drink and occasionally checks her watch. We see Dr. MacIntosh enter behind her and somewhat rush over to the table.Dr.
Mac: (hastily seating himself in the empty chair) I'm terribly sorry that I'm late.
Genevieve: (her face lighting up with a mischievous smile) I've almost come to expect a delay when waiting for Port Caron's most renowned doctor. I suppose your going to explain why now?
Dr. Mac: There was an emergency at the Cottonwood plantation.
Genevieve: (concerned) Oh dear, is every thing all right?
Dr. Mac: There wasn't much I could do, (pausing slightly but continuing before Genevieve can interrupt) Mr. Cottonwood died earlier tonight.
Genevieve: No! Oh my,
Just then the waiter comes up to the table.
Waiter: Are you ready to order?
Genevieve: (hastily, quite snarkily) Not yet, give us more time
The waiter silently nods and walks awayDr. Mac: It was all very odd, it seems as though he choked, but there’s no evidence of what he could have choked on.
Genevieve: That is odd, (there is a slight lull in the conversation)
Dr. Mac: Well enough of my dreary day, how was yours?
Genevieve: Promising! Amalgamation Makeup is making a proposal to Bunda Burns (Seeing Willy's questioning look) the aerobic coordinator on 'Burn those Buns'. Anyhow we're hoping she'll endorse our products.
Dr. Mac: Aye, that's something special, so you think she'll take the offer?
Genevieve: I think so, but I have a back up plan if she's leery at all
Dr. Mac: Back up plan? What’s that?
Genevieve: Well (leaning forward as if revealing some deep secret) I've found out that my mechanic, down at Rusty Parts, is close friends with Bunda Burns, strangely enough. So we may be able to use her to convince Bunda if ever the need should rise.
Dr. Mac: Now how do you plan on convincing Rusty to convince Bunda
Genevieve: Oh I don't know. I'll worry about that when and if it comes up. I'd probably say something about boosting the economy of Port Caron.
Dr. Mac: (smiling as if greatly humoured by her ambition) Sounds like you have it all worked out
Genevieve: We really want this endorsement, Willy; it would really help our company.
The camera pauses on the expression on Genevieve’s expression and then cuts to Hooch Central where we see Lady P, haughtily walking through the front door, which James has opened for her. She is carrying her precious poodle and looking around down the tip of her nose, wondering where the best place to eavesdrop would be. Lady P approaches the bar upon observing its attendants talking concernedly. Sparky Renfrew, a grease monkey who works at Rusty Parts and Maccabees Montgomery are having a discussion with Fred, Skye and Hooch.
Friday, July 02, 2004
Scene XII
The scene opens up to the nervous expression of Bertie.
Bertie: (sighs) Well let's see what the deputy has to say. (She grabs her jacket and turns to leave but Boo is still in a trance with her computer) Boo, Boo I need to get by.
Boo: (looking around in confusion) Oh! I'm sorry, do you need to go to the bathroom Bertie?
Bertie: (looking at Boo in astonishment) Have you heard nothing? (shaking her head) Never mind, just let me out. I'll, or someone else will explain it later.
Boo: (sliding out of the booth, a confused and flustered expression on her face) Sure, Bertie.
Bertie: (gets out and walks over to meet the Dep. and Det) Deputy, Detective, my mother is over at the bar, I thought it best not to confront her of your desire to talk to us until you were here.
Dep: Let's go inform her and then go from there.
With Bertie leading the way they walk over to where Angel is loudly chatting it up with the others gathered there.
Bertie: (softly) Mother (realizing her mother isn’t listening speaks a little louder) Mother
Angel: (she is somewhat drunk) Oh! Hello, my darling daughter, have you brought these two men to help drag me home?
Bertie: well, no, actually, Deputy Grafton and Detective Grafton would like to have a word with the both of us.
Angel: (getting up clumsily) A word? Bertie, dearest are you trying to set us up on a double date? (smiling wryly at the Grafton Brothers) Silly girl, I'm still married, but I suppose Daddy's not here to ruin our fun.
Dep: Actually Mrs. Cottonwood, we need to speak to you about something of importance.
Dec: (leaning over to his brother and speaks in a hushed voice) Chips, I don't know that it's such a good idea to continue with her in this state. Who knows how she'll handle the situation, or if she'll remember what we told her…
Angel: (obviously overhearing his comment) Detective, I'm perfectly fine, Deputy Grafton, you don't need to play games, you already have my undivided attention.
Dep: In that case Ma'am, if you and your daughter could accompany my brother and I to the cruiser, we're going to take you home, and there we'll see if we can at least talk to your daughter.
Angel: Well if you insist on role-playing Deputy, I have no complaints (she slides off the barstool with great care and takes a clumsy step forward)
Dep: (ignoring Angels drunken stupor) Oh and Bertie is there someone you trust, someone you would like to come along, a good friend perhaps?
Bertie: (with an inquisitive look on her face) Ah yes, I suppose, (calling out) Spook?
Spook: (who of course was already paying attention) I'm coming!
Bertie helps her mother follow the Grafton brothers out of Hooch Central, Spook following behind them. We see them disappear through the door and the camera cuts to the angry expression of Cinnamon Blythe. The camera then pulls back further until we have a wide view of the office.
Cinnamon: Max E. Street! You dirty, unfaithful, jerk! (Storming into the office) Did you think I wouldn't figure it out? Do you think I'm stupid?
Kenya has now backed off into the corner
Max: (attempting to get up from the floor) dearest it's not what it looks...
Cinnamon: (she knocks him back to the ground) Don't dearest me, (turning to Kenya) And don't think I've forgotten about you! Max, don't even think about coming home tonight (all of a sudden bursting into tears) You heartless moron! How could you do this, to me? To the kids? All this time telling everyone you're a legit family businessman!! I should have known from the start that there was something fishy about that statement.
Max: (his face full of surprise and concern) But I AM a legit Businessman!
Cinnamon: Oh I don't want to hear it! And don't even think about coming home tonight either. If you and Miss Kenya need to 'work late' you can have all the time you need!
She then storms out of the office and after she is gone the camera switches to the hurting expression of Max, there it pauses (with some moving mood music of course) and then cuts to the front doors of the Cottonwood Plantation, were we see Dep Grafton’s Cruiser pull up. From a distance we watch him get out and open the door to the backseat and all of the car occupants file into the mansion. The camera switches to the family room as they are coming through the doorway. We watch Bertie help her mother to a chair, and then Bertie and Spook sit down together on a couch.
Bertie: (sighs) Well let's see what the deputy has to say. (She grabs her jacket and turns to leave but Boo is still in a trance with her computer) Boo, Boo I need to get by.
Boo: (looking around in confusion) Oh! I'm sorry, do you need to go to the bathroom Bertie?
Bertie: (looking at Boo in astonishment) Have you heard nothing? (shaking her head) Never mind, just let me out. I'll, or someone else will explain it later.
Boo: (sliding out of the booth, a confused and flustered expression on her face) Sure, Bertie.
Bertie: (gets out and walks over to meet the Dep. and Det) Deputy, Detective, my mother is over at the bar, I thought it best not to confront her of your desire to talk to us until you were here.
Dep: Let's go inform her and then go from there.
With Bertie leading the way they walk over to where Angel is loudly chatting it up with the others gathered there.
Bertie: (softly) Mother (realizing her mother isn’t listening speaks a little louder) Mother
Angel: (she is somewhat drunk) Oh! Hello, my darling daughter, have you brought these two men to help drag me home?
Bertie: well, no, actually, Deputy Grafton and Detective Grafton would like to have a word with the both of us.
Angel: (getting up clumsily) A word? Bertie, dearest are you trying to set us up on a double date? (smiling wryly at the Grafton Brothers) Silly girl, I'm still married, but I suppose Daddy's not here to ruin our fun.
Dep: Actually Mrs. Cottonwood, we need to speak to you about something of importance.
Dec: (leaning over to his brother and speaks in a hushed voice) Chips, I don't know that it's such a good idea to continue with her in this state. Who knows how she'll handle the situation, or if she'll remember what we told her…
Angel: (obviously overhearing his comment) Detective, I'm perfectly fine, Deputy Grafton, you don't need to play games, you already have my undivided attention.
Dep: In that case Ma'am, if you and your daughter could accompany my brother and I to the cruiser, we're going to take you home, and there we'll see if we can at least talk to your daughter.
Angel: Well if you insist on role-playing Deputy, I have no complaints (she slides off the barstool with great care and takes a clumsy step forward)
Dep: (ignoring Angels drunken stupor) Oh and Bertie is there someone you trust, someone you would like to come along, a good friend perhaps?
Bertie: (with an inquisitive look on her face) Ah yes, I suppose, (calling out) Spook?
Spook: (who of course was already paying attention) I'm coming!
Bertie helps her mother follow the Grafton brothers out of Hooch Central, Spook following behind them. We see them disappear through the door and the camera cuts to the angry expression of Cinnamon Blythe. The camera then pulls back further until we have a wide view of the office.
Cinnamon: Max E. Street! You dirty, unfaithful, jerk! (Storming into the office) Did you think I wouldn't figure it out? Do you think I'm stupid?
Kenya has now backed off into the corner
Max: (attempting to get up from the floor) dearest it's not what it looks...
Cinnamon: (she knocks him back to the ground) Don't dearest me, (turning to Kenya) And don't think I've forgotten about you! Max, don't even think about coming home tonight (all of a sudden bursting into tears) You heartless moron! How could you do this, to me? To the kids? All this time telling everyone you're a legit family businessman!! I should have known from the start that there was something fishy about that statement.
Max: (his face full of surprise and concern) But I AM a legit Businessman!
Cinnamon: Oh I don't want to hear it! And don't even think about coming home tonight either. If you and Miss Kenya need to 'work late' you can have all the time you need!
She then storms out of the office and after she is gone the camera switches to the hurting expression of Max, there it pauses (with some moving mood music of course) and then cuts to the front doors of the Cottonwood Plantation, were we see Dep Grafton’s Cruiser pull up. From a distance we watch him get out and open the door to the backseat and all of the car occupants file into the mansion. The camera switches to the family room as they are coming through the doorway. We watch Bertie help her mother to a chair, and then Bertie and Spook sit down together on a couch.
Thursday, July 01, 2004
Scene XI
The scene opens once again back at Rusty Parts Auto shop
Gunnar: Know?
Rusty: I figured you would have known, seeing as how everyone's lives are common knowledge, well, at least what others think of everyone's life is common knowledge.
Gunnar: What are you ranting about?
Rusty: (appearing somewhat flustered) About how everyone talks about your issues in this crummy town, but no one talks to you about them.
Gunnar: (Concern is now once again inflicting his expression) So what is it that everyone knows? Or think they know, better yet, why don't you tell me what you know.
Rusty: (suddenly feeling embarrassed about her sudden burst of emotion, becomes somewhat sullen) There was one, I thought he was different from the rest of them…
Gunnar: But he wasn't?
Rusty: No he wasn't, (turns around to put her tool in it's place but continues quietly) I hate people talking about me, analyzing me. They think they know you by observing you for a matter of moments, but they never stop to ask, they never stop to think that maybe all that they see isn't all that it seems to be. (sighs) I don't know why I'm telling you this (she looks up at him) But you’re not one to share knowledge, or opinion, easily... (waving the white envelope) thanks, I suppose you'll be leaving town now.
Gunnar: (walking to his precious Harley) I'd say I can't tell you that, but it seems you already know the answer.
As he's speaking we see red and blue flashing lights of a cruiser passing by through the open garage door. Rusty and Gunnar exchange glances.
Rusty: See you later Gunnar, don't get into too much trouble.
Turns and walks towards the adjoining room
Gunnar: Always a pleasure, hey and Rusty, get out of the garage some time.
Gunnar revs the engine and then roars out of the garage, Rusty is simultaneously walking through the doorframe without looking behind her, leaving the garage empty. The camera pauses a moment, and then cuts to Max’s office, where Max and Kenya are still seated at his desk.
Kenya: Oh come on Max, (brushing her hand down his arm) you need to take a little break.
Max: (pushes chair away from the desk and Kenya, mouth gaping wide open) Kenya! ...I mean, oh my! Oh dear, I can't believe what's going on (throwing his hands to his head in unbelief)
Kenya: (getting off the desk and following Max) Oh Maxy poo, don't say no, you know you need it (she grabs his arm and throws him to the floor).
Max: (flabbergasted) Maxy poo! Need it!! What would my wife think!
Just then the door flies open and we see Max's wife standing in the doorframe. Max's wife Cinnamon Blythe, who kept her maiden name for personal reasons, looked incredibly disgruntled. The camera zooms in on her disgruntled expression and then cuts back to Hooch Central. Where we see Dep. and Detective Grafton enter. Dep. Grafton dressed in a police uniform, Detective Grafton dressed in a long black trench coat and both wearing sunglasses, despite the fact that it is pitch dark outside. The camera swings over to the nervous expression of Bertie.
Gunnar: Know?
Rusty: I figured you would have known, seeing as how everyone's lives are common knowledge, well, at least what others think of everyone's life is common knowledge.
Gunnar: What are you ranting about?
Rusty: (appearing somewhat flustered) About how everyone talks about your issues in this crummy town, but no one talks to you about them.
Gunnar: (Concern is now once again inflicting his expression) So what is it that everyone knows? Or think they know, better yet, why don't you tell me what you know.
Rusty: (suddenly feeling embarrassed about her sudden burst of emotion, becomes somewhat sullen) There was one, I thought he was different from the rest of them…
Gunnar: But he wasn't?
Rusty: No he wasn't, (turns around to put her tool in it's place but continues quietly) I hate people talking about me, analyzing me. They think they know you by observing you for a matter of moments, but they never stop to ask, they never stop to think that maybe all that they see isn't all that it seems to be. (sighs) I don't know why I'm telling you this (she looks up at him) But you’re not one to share knowledge, or opinion, easily... (waving the white envelope) thanks, I suppose you'll be leaving town now.
Gunnar: (walking to his precious Harley) I'd say I can't tell you that, but it seems you already know the answer.
As he's speaking we see red and blue flashing lights of a cruiser passing by through the open garage door. Rusty and Gunnar exchange glances.
Rusty: See you later Gunnar, don't get into too much trouble.
Turns and walks towards the adjoining room
Gunnar: Always a pleasure, hey and Rusty, get out of the garage some time.
Gunnar revs the engine and then roars out of the garage, Rusty is simultaneously walking through the doorframe without looking behind her, leaving the garage empty. The camera pauses a moment, and then cuts to Max’s office, where Max and Kenya are still seated at his desk.
Kenya: Oh come on Max, (brushing her hand down his arm) you need to take a little break.
Max: (pushes chair away from the desk and Kenya, mouth gaping wide open) Kenya! ...I mean, oh my! Oh dear, I can't believe what's going on (throwing his hands to his head in unbelief)
Kenya: (getting off the desk and following Max) Oh Maxy poo, don't say no, you know you need it (she grabs his arm and throws him to the floor).
Max: (flabbergasted) Maxy poo! Need it!! What would my wife think!
Just then the door flies open and we see Max's wife standing in the doorframe. Max's wife Cinnamon Blythe, who kept her maiden name for personal reasons, looked incredibly disgruntled. The camera zooms in on her disgruntled expression and then cuts back to Hooch Central. Where we see Dep. and Detective Grafton enter. Dep. Grafton dressed in a police uniform, Detective Grafton dressed in a long black trench coat and both wearing sunglasses, despite the fact that it is pitch dark outside. The camera swings over to the nervous expression of Bertie.
Wednesday, June 30, 2004
Scene X
The scene opens back to Rusty Parts Auto shop, Gunnar who seems not to notice her scrutinizing stare continues where she left off.
Gunnar: of course (he takes the last swig of his coffee and offers he the empty mug, she takes it. He then reaches inside his coat and pulls out a white unmarked business envelope and hands that to her as well.)
Rusty: (her brow still furrowed) What is it?
Gunnar: Your payment…
Rusty: (rolling her eyes) no, you were going to say something what was it?
Gunnar: Ah, well, I was just wondering…
Rusty: wondering?
Gunnar: (he pauses to look at her intently, and then continues) Whenever I come into town, late at night, you're always here, not that I don't appreciate the service but, why? Why are you here, and not out with friends, or at Hooch Central, why are you here?
Rusty: Why am I not out socializing with the society of Port Caron? (sighs, as Gunnar waits for her to answer his question as well as her own) I thought you'd see the answer, being an outsider looking in. Port Caron society is made up of people who are either looking for someone to love or looking for faults to mock... I suppose that's an ugly exaggeration, but some days it feels like it's not far from the truth.
Gunnar: And you're not one of those people?
Rusty: suppose not, mocking others is a poor way of dealing with the problems that surround our lives.
Gunnar: oh and secluding yourself in a garage is a better way? (shakes his head, as sorry for speaking so quickly and attempts to change focus) But what about the other kinds of people, looking for love, are you not one of them? Or at least is there no one looking to you as the love they’re seeking?
Rusty: (rather sarcastically) You mean you don’t already know?
The camera then switches to the dark docks of Snowy Harbour’s marina. It has stopped raining and over the quiet lapping of the lake we hear a motor approaching. The camera moves around to face a dimly lit building, of which the door opens and we see Snowy Harbour walk out. The camera follows him down the dock, all the while the motor sound getting louder until we see a boat pull into the dock. Snowy ties down the boat as Mayor Zeppelin Boca gets out onto the dock.
Mayor Boca: What a terrible night…
Snowy: Did the weather hold you up?
Mayor: yes I had to wait for the storm to end before I could come back. It was quite the storm.
Snowy and the Mayor begin to walk back to the lodge where we saw Snowy exit. The camera follows them into the lodge and we see the homey yet simply decorated living room of Snowy Harbour. As Snowy continues the conversation, Mayor Boca takes a seat in the well-worn armchairs.
Snowy: How was the trip despite the weather? (Snowy fills two mugs with coffee and hands one to Mayor Boca and then takes a seat on the couch beside him)
Mayor: Almost just as stormy
Snowy: that bad eh? What is it they want now?
Mayor: Well the mayor of Kneecap restated his previous proposal, just reworded it, and hoped I'd believe it was a new proposal.
Snowy: How did you answer his proposal?
Mayor: I haven't answered it yet. I don't know what to say to him Snowy; I just don't feel adequate to deal with this situation.
Snowy: What do you think you are going to do?
Mayor: I think I may just not answer him, and maybe he'll back off the issue
Snowy: (smirking and shaking his head) You mean you're going to ignore the problem and hope it goes away.
Mayor: (becoming somewhat defensive) Well when you word it that way it sounds a whole lot worse.
Snowy: of course it sounds worse, but it's the truth, Zeppelin this wouldn't be the first time you’ve handled a problem this way, maybe not in Political situations, but you've done this before.
Mayor: Oh come on Snowy this is different and you know it
Snowy: No, it's not different, you can't ignore problems, it may seem like its disappeared, but it's either waiting for you to confront it or being damaged in ways that you can't see, most usually both. It may be hard to deal with confronting the situation, but it’ll be harder to deal...
Mayor: (cuts in) with the situation once it's been damaged, I know, I've heard you say it enough times, and yet I still feel tempted not to deal with things like this.
Snowy: It's hard, but it's better, even if the situation completely falls apart, at least you know that you’ve had the courage to face that failure.
Mayor: How did I get to be Mayor, Snowy? So many people think I’m strong and courageous, but so often I feel inadequate and weak.
Snowy: Because you are a good guy, deep down in that heart of yours. Hey, no one's perfect, and we all need someone to smack us when we're being stupid.
Snowy reaches out and slaps Mayor Boca on the shoulder.
The camera then switches, once again, back to Rusty Parts Auto shop
Gunnar: of course (he takes the last swig of his coffee and offers he the empty mug, she takes it. He then reaches inside his coat and pulls out a white unmarked business envelope and hands that to her as well.)
Rusty: (her brow still furrowed) What is it?
Gunnar: Your payment…
Rusty: (rolling her eyes) no, you were going to say something what was it?
Gunnar: Ah, well, I was just wondering…
Rusty: wondering?
Gunnar: (he pauses to look at her intently, and then continues) Whenever I come into town, late at night, you're always here, not that I don't appreciate the service but, why? Why are you here, and not out with friends, or at Hooch Central, why are you here?
Rusty: Why am I not out socializing with the society of Port Caron? (sighs, as Gunnar waits for her to answer his question as well as her own) I thought you'd see the answer, being an outsider looking in. Port Caron society is made up of people who are either looking for someone to love or looking for faults to mock... I suppose that's an ugly exaggeration, but some days it feels like it's not far from the truth.
Gunnar: And you're not one of those people?
Rusty: suppose not, mocking others is a poor way of dealing with the problems that surround our lives.
Gunnar: oh and secluding yourself in a garage is a better way? (shakes his head, as sorry for speaking so quickly and attempts to change focus) But what about the other kinds of people, looking for love, are you not one of them? Or at least is there no one looking to you as the love they’re seeking?
Rusty: (rather sarcastically) You mean you don’t already know?
The camera then switches to the dark docks of Snowy Harbour’s marina. It has stopped raining and over the quiet lapping of the lake we hear a motor approaching. The camera moves around to face a dimly lit building, of which the door opens and we see Snowy Harbour walk out. The camera follows him down the dock, all the while the motor sound getting louder until we see a boat pull into the dock. Snowy ties down the boat as Mayor Zeppelin Boca gets out onto the dock.
Mayor Boca: What a terrible night…
Snowy: Did the weather hold you up?
Mayor: yes I had to wait for the storm to end before I could come back. It was quite the storm.
Snowy and the Mayor begin to walk back to the lodge where we saw Snowy exit. The camera follows them into the lodge and we see the homey yet simply decorated living room of Snowy Harbour. As Snowy continues the conversation, Mayor Boca takes a seat in the well-worn armchairs.
Snowy: How was the trip despite the weather? (Snowy fills two mugs with coffee and hands one to Mayor Boca and then takes a seat on the couch beside him)
Mayor: Almost just as stormy
Snowy: that bad eh? What is it they want now?
Mayor: Well the mayor of Kneecap restated his previous proposal, just reworded it, and hoped I'd believe it was a new proposal.
Snowy: How did you answer his proposal?
Mayor: I haven't answered it yet. I don't know what to say to him Snowy; I just don't feel adequate to deal with this situation.
Snowy: What do you think you are going to do?
Mayor: I think I may just not answer him, and maybe he'll back off the issue
Snowy: (smirking and shaking his head) You mean you're going to ignore the problem and hope it goes away.
Mayor: (becoming somewhat defensive) Well when you word it that way it sounds a whole lot worse.
Snowy: of course it sounds worse, but it's the truth, Zeppelin this wouldn't be the first time you’ve handled a problem this way, maybe not in Political situations, but you've done this before.
Mayor: Oh come on Snowy this is different and you know it
Snowy: No, it's not different, you can't ignore problems, it may seem like its disappeared, but it's either waiting for you to confront it or being damaged in ways that you can't see, most usually both. It may be hard to deal with confronting the situation, but it’ll be harder to deal...
Mayor: (cuts in) with the situation once it's been damaged, I know, I've heard you say it enough times, and yet I still feel tempted not to deal with things like this.
Snowy: It's hard, but it's better, even if the situation completely falls apart, at least you know that you’ve had the courage to face that failure.
Mayor: How did I get to be Mayor, Snowy? So many people think I’m strong and courageous, but so often I feel inadequate and weak.
Snowy: Because you are a good guy, deep down in that heart of yours. Hey, no one's perfect, and we all need someone to smack us when we're being stupid.
Snowy reaches out and slaps Mayor Boca on the shoulder.
The camera then switches, once again, back to Rusty Parts Auto shop
Tuesday, June 29, 2004
Scene IX
The scene opens up at Hooch Central, where Boo is typing madly at her laptop. Her soup is getting cold because she had not touched it. She jumps when she thinks that she hears her cell phone ring but she realizes that it is the phone of Bertie, who is next to her.
Bertie: (Picks her jacket up from beside her, searches it until she finds the ringing apparatus and answers) Hello? (pause) Yes this is she. (brow furrowing) Hello, Deputy, what can I do for you? (pause) I'm at Hooch Central. (pause) Yes my mother is here too. (she pauses and is beginning to look worried) Yes I can do that. (pause) ok, goodbye Deputy.
Sergey and Spook are looking at Bertie in concern, but Boo is still is in her own little world with her laptop.
Spook: What is it Bertie? What did the Deputy want?
Bertie: I'm not sure, he didn't say. (looking flustered) He just said that he wanted to talk to my mother and I. He told me to wait here, and to make sure my mother doesn't leave.
Sergey: That is so strange; you don't think she's in some trouble do you?
Bertie: I don't know, but I don't think I have to worry about her leaving any time soon, she'll perched on that stool until I drag her home.
After a few moments of silence, in the background we see Scout South burst through the restaurant door. He stops, looks around until his gaze meets up with the table of interest, and then stomps over. The ruggedly handsome lumberjack clumsily takes a seat and begins talking excitedly.
Scout: K, so guys, have you ever been to the tree? You know the big one outside of town? It’s got like this huge vine...
Spook: (interrupting him hastily) Not now Scout! (Scout is now looking dejected). Oh, I'm sorry, it's just not the right time for one of your silly stories.
Scout: (Still pouting, but now looking more concerned and incredulous) Something wrong?
Sergey: Apparently Deputy Grafton wants to have a word with Bertie and her mother; he's on his way over here.
Scout: Well isn't that something? What in the world could the Deputy want with Bertie or her mother?
Spook: We don't know, that’s the problem.
Scout: Oh, I see
Bertie: Could we stop talking about this as if I'm not here, or as if some terrible tragedy has happened? We don't know anything yet, nor should we assume the worst.
Spook: Yes you're quite right Bertie, the only thing accomplished from having expectations of the worst is a sense of dread.
The group is now left to their own thoughts, especially Boo who hasn't paid attention to a single event that has passed. The camera then cuts back to the Maine residence. We see Burt standing in the middle of the room thoughtfully sipping his Martini, but Maccabees has left. Ginger Sixth enters and picks up the martini on the table
Ginger: (looking deeply concerned) How did it go?
Burt: (breathing in deeply) It went as well as could've been expected. He wasn't happy.
Ginger: Well it's about time you lay down the law with that boy Burt, he needs to have more respect for you.
Burt: (looking at her intently) Yes, he does.
Ginger: (smiling sweetly she reaches out her free hand and places it on his shoulder gently) When do you plan on telling him about us Bert?
Burt: I don't know, it's going to have to be soon, seeing as we’re getting married in a month.
Ginger: Speaking of which we have some planning to do. I've made arrangements for us to have lunch tomorrow with the Wedding coordinator. We need to go over just a few things.
Burt: All right, what time did you want to meet?
Ginger: We're going to have lunch at Hooch Central at 11:45
Burt: (he puts his martini down on the table) Ginger (putting both hands on her shoulders and looks her squarely in the eye) are you sure?
Ginger:(puzzled) Burt, I made the appointment weeks ago, I have it written in my Day timer.
Burt: (his face full of passionate frustration) No Ginger, I mean marrying me.
Ginger: oh, silly Burt, of course I'm sure.
The camera cuts back to Rusty Parts Auto shop
Bertie: (Picks her jacket up from beside her, searches it until she finds the ringing apparatus and answers) Hello? (pause) Yes this is she. (brow furrowing) Hello, Deputy, what can I do for you? (pause) I'm at Hooch Central. (pause) Yes my mother is here too. (she pauses and is beginning to look worried) Yes I can do that. (pause) ok, goodbye Deputy.
Sergey and Spook are looking at Bertie in concern, but Boo is still is in her own little world with her laptop.
Spook: What is it Bertie? What did the Deputy want?
Bertie: I'm not sure, he didn't say. (looking flustered) He just said that he wanted to talk to my mother and I. He told me to wait here, and to make sure my mother doesn't leave.
Sergey: That is so strange; you don't think she's in some trouble do you?
Bertie: I don't know, but I don't think I have to worry about her leaving any time soon, she'll perched on that stool until I drag her home.
After a few moments of silence, in the background we see Scout South burst through the restaurant door. He stops, looks around until his gaze meets up with the table of interest, and then stomps over. The ruggedly handsome lumberjack clumsily takes a seat and begins talking excitedly.
Scout: K, so guys, have you ever been to the tree? You know the big one outside of town? It’s got like this huge vine...
Spook: (interrupting him hastily) Not now Scout! (Scout is now looking dejected). Oh, I'm sorry, it's just not the right time for one of your silly stories.
Scout: (Still pouting, but now looking more concerned and incredulous) Something wrong?
Sergey: Apparently Deputy Grafton wants to have a word with Bertie and her mother; he's on his way over here.
Scout: Well isn't that something? What in the world could the Deputy want with Bertie or her mother?
Spook: We don't know, that’s the problem.
Scout: Oh, I see
Bertie: Could we stop talking about this as if I'm not here, or as if some terrible tragedy has happened? We don't know anything yet, nor should we assume the worst.
Spook: Yes you're quite right Bertie, the only thing accomplished from having expectations of the worst is a sense of dread.
The group is now left to their own thoughts, especially Boo who hasn't paid attention to a single event that has passed. The camera then cuts back to the Maine residence. We see Burt standing in the middle of the room thoughtfully sipping his Martini, but Maccabees has left. Ginger Sixth enters and picks up the martini on the table
Ginger: (looking deeply concerned) How did it go?
Burt: (breathing in deeply) It went as well as could've been expected. He wasn't happy.
Ginger: Well it's about time you lay down the law with that boy Burt, he needs to have more respect for you.
Burt: (looking at her intently) Yes, he does.
Ginger: (smiling sweetly she reaches out her free hand and places it on his shoulder gently) When do you plan on telling him about us Bert?
Burt: I don't know, it's going to have to be soon, seeing as we’re getting married in a month.
Ginger: Speaking of which we have some planning to do. I've made arrangements for us to have lunch tomorrow with the Wedding coordinator. We need to go over just a few things.
Burt: All right, what time did you want to meet?
Ginger: We're going to have lunch at Hooch Central at 11:45
Burt: (he puts his martini down on the table) Ginger (putting both hands on her shoulders and looks her squarely in the eye) are you sure?
Ginger:(puzzled) Burt, I made the appointment weeks ago, I have it written in my Day timer.
Burt: (his face full of passionate frustration) No Ginger, I mean marrying me.
Ginger: oh, silly Burt, of course I'm sure.
The camera cuts back to Rusty Parts Auto shop
Monday, June 28, 2004
Scene VIII
The scene opens up back at Burt Maine's intriguing conversation with his sun.
Burt: I'm really glad we could get together and have this chat son; you know how little I get to see you these days.
Maccabees: Don't son me, I see through your tricks, and I’m telling you I won't stand for it. Get to the point old man.
Burt: All right fine, I've tried to be nice to you Mac, but you’ve forced me to be harsh. You know I didn't want you to change your name, yet you disregarded my wishes. You’re my only son, and unless you change your name back to Maine, the family name will die with me.
Mac: (scoffing and angry) You expect me to care about the family name? Or your wishes? Give me one good reason why I should care in the least about what you want?
Burt: Oh I'll give you a reason; I've changed my will today, seeing as I expect you to stab me in the back any day now. I've added a condition. You will need to find a wife, and be married to her for 5 years, and produce at least 3 heirs under the family name, before you will receive a cent of your inheritance.
Mac: (Rather than surprise or shock an expression of mocking doubt graces Maccabees face) Are you out of your skull?
Burt: (quite smugly) Hey Mac it's springtime in Port Caron, it shouldn't be too difficult to find a girl, it's just keeping her and getting her to fulfill her purpose in life that will be the challenge. (he winks at his son)
Camera closes in on the angry expression of Maccabees Montgomery and then cuts to a middle aged woman seated in a limousine. She could be quite a pretty woman, but she wears an ugly expression of bitterness of her face. There is a poodle in her lap, which she pets slowly, as she glares out of her window. As the camera pans back we see her expression change to that of evil inquisitiveness. She leans forward and presses a button.
Lady Pumpkin Center: James, what on earth is going on at the Cottonwood plantation, I can see two police cars and an ambulance there.
We hear James voice come back over the intercom
James: I would not know ma'am, would you like me to attempt to pull in.
Lady P: (indignant) Of course not James, don't be so ridiculous, we're not going to intrude on their privacy. (She pauses a moment and then presses the button again) Drive to Hooch central, there's bound to be someone there who knows.
The camera cuts to Rusty Parts where we see Rusty squatting in front of the motorcycle, she has her back to the camera. She's listening to music and doesn't hear Gunnar enter into her Auto shop. The music isn't loud, but then again neither is Gunnar.
Gunnar: Is it…
Rusty drops her tool on the ground as she gasps in surprise; she grabs her tool off the ground, then turns and stands in one motion to face Gunnar.
Gunnar: (smirking) Sorry to scare you…
Rusty: (calmly interrupts) If you were sorry you wouldn’t try to do it every time you come here.
Gunnar: (Walks a few steps closer) True, I'm not sorry, is it ready? (indicating his motorcycle)
Rusty: Almost, would you like some coffee while you wait?
Gunnar: Sure,
Rusty shoves the wrench into her back pocket as she walks into the adjoining room, Gunnar yells after her
Gunnar: I hope she wasn't too much trouble for you
She soon returns with a mug
Rusty: Nothing I can't handle, I hope you weren't getting into too much trouble.
She hands him the mug and goes back to working on the motorcycle
Gunnar: Trouble? (Takes a sip of his coffee) Whatever could you mean?
Rusty: Gunnar, you are trouble, I'm almost certain that's what that T stands for. Besides you don’t come to Port Caron without reason.
Gunnar: You know Rusty I might have to have you knocked off.
Rusty: (not in the least scared of his threat) Ah, but then who would you use those finely tuned sneaky skills on?
Gunnar: This is true. (a slight pause in conversation… both are left to their individual thoughts. Gunnar watches Rusty for a moment, his usual poker face melting away to an inquisitive concern, his mouth then opens as if to say something)
Rusty: (stands and talks as she’s walking over) done, are you going to pay in your usual method?
The camera focuses in on her face as she stops in front of Gunnar, and we see her look up at him and her brow furrows. The camera then cuts back to Hooch Central. More of a crowd has built up in the restaurant, and now there is a low murmur of voices throughout. Jazz is now strumming out some old rock song, but his music just adds to the background noise. Angel Cottonwood has joined the ranks of people seated around the bar, drowning her sorrows in alcohol. The camera scans the busy scene then stops at the large corner booth where Sergey, Spook, Bertie and Boo, are still sitting.
Burt: I'm really glad we could get together and have this chat son; you know how little I get to see you these days.
Maccabees: Don't son me, I see through your tricks, and I’m telling you I won't stand for it. Get to the point old man.
Burt: All right fine, I've tried to be nice to you Mac, but you’ve forced me to be harsh. You know I didn't want you to change your name, yet you disregarded my wishes. You’re my only son, and unless you change your name back to Maine, the family name will die with me.
Mac: (scoffing and angry) You expect me to care about the family name? Or your wishes? Give me one good reason why I should care in the least about what you want?
Burt: Oh I'll give you a reason; I've changed my will today, seeing as I expect you to stab me in the back any day now. I've added a condition. You will need to find a wife, and be married to her for 5 years, and produce at least 3 heirs under the family name, before you will receive a cent of your inheritance.
Mac: (Rather than surprise or shock an expression of mocking doubt graces Maccabees face) Are you out of your skull?
Burt: (quite smugly) Hey Mac it's springtime in Port Caron, it shouldn't be too difficult to find a girl, it's just keeping her and getting her to fulfill her purpose in life that will be the challenge. (he winks at his son)
Camera closes in on the angry expression of Maccabees Montgomery and then cuts to a middle aged woman seated in a limousine. She could be quite a pretty woman, but she wears an ugly expression of bitterness of her face. There is a poodle in her lap, which she pets slowly, as she glares out of her window. As the camera pans back we see her expression change to that of evil inquisitiveness. She leans forward and presses a button.
Lady Pumpkin Center: James, what on earth is going on at the Cottonwood plantation, I can see two police cars and an ambulance there.
We hear James voice come back over the intercom
James: I would not know ma'am, would you like me to attempt to pull in.
Lady P: (indignant) Of course not James, don't be so ridiculous, we're not going to intrude on their privacy. (She pauses a moment and then presses the button again) Drive to Hooch central, there's bound to be someone there who knows.
The camera cuts to Rusty Parts where we see Rusty squatting in front of the motorcycle, she has her back to the camera. She's listening to music and doesn't hear Gunnar enter into her Auto shop. The music isn't loud, but then again neither is Gunnar.
Gunnar: Is it…
Rusty drops her tool on the ground as she gasps in surprise; she grabs her tool off the ground, then turns and stands in one motion to face Gunnar.
Gunnar: (smirking) Sorry to scare you…
Rusty: (calmly interrupts) If you were sorry you wouldn’t try to do it every time you come here.
Gunnar: (Walks a few steps closer) True, I'm not sorry, is it ready? (indicating his motorcycle)
Rusty: Almost, would you like some coffee while you wait?
Gunnar: Sure,
Rusty shoves the wrench into her back pocket as she walks into the adjoining room, Gunnar yells after her
Gunnar: I hope she wasn't too much trouble for you
She soon returns with a mug
Rusty: Nothing I can't handle, I hope you weren't getting into too much trouble.
She hands him the mug and goes back to working on the motorcycle
Gunnar: Trouble? (Takes a sip of his coffee) Whatever could you mean?
Rusty: Gunnar, you are trouble, I'm almost certain that's what that T stands for. Besides you don’t come to Port Caron without reason.
Gunnar: You know Rusty I might have to have you knocked off.
Rusty: (not in the least scared of his threat) Ah, but then who would you use those finely tuned sneaky skills on?
Gunnar: This is true. (a slight pause in conversation… both are left to their individual thoughts. Gunnar watches Rusty for a moment, his usual poker face melting away to an inquisitive concern, his mouth then opens as if to say something)
Rusty: (stands and talks as she’s walking over) done, are you going to pay in your usual method?
The camera focuses in on her face as she stops in front of Gunnar, and we see her look up at him and her brow furrows. The camera then cuts back to Hooch Central. More of a crowd has built up in the restaurant, and now there is a low murmur of voices throughout. Jazz is now strumming out some old rock song, but his music just adds to the background noise. Angel Cottonwood has joined the ranks of people seated around the bar, drowning her sorrows in alcohol. The camera scans the busy scene then stops at the large corner booth where Sergey, Spook, Bertie and Boo, are still sitting.
Sunday, June 27, 2004
Scene VII
The scene opens in Sticker's basement where Gunnar T. is standing in a dark room. Stickers swirls his swivel chair around to face Gunnar.
Stickers: Did you bring the goods Gunnar?
Camera cuts to a close shot of Gunnar's face bathed in the green light, and then pulls back slowly as he puts his hand inside his jacket, pulls out a small white plastic bag and hands it to Stickers.
Stickers looks inside the bag…
Stickers: (highly agitated) These are fuzzy bees! I asked for fuzzy frogs!
He slams the bag into a drawer with many other plastic bags.
Gunnar: (Also agitated) What do you want? It's a late night on a weekday!! There are not a whole lot of places open that sell stickers!
Stickers: Fine! But don’t expect any extra favours.
Gunnar: All right just tell me what I want to know and I'll be gone.
Stickers: Well you know your suspicions about that incident? (pausing slightly but not enough time for an answer) Well you were right. And the other Situation, (not even taking a breath) you were wrong.
Gunnar: (still agitated) Oh well that's helpful. Give me some beef here Stickers; I need something to go on.
Stickers: Gunnar it's Port Caron, no one gets a straight answer, we just keep guessing until we get something right.
Gunnar: (mumbling under his breath) Or wrong, terribly, terribly wrong.
Stickers: (Swirling his chair until his back once again is facing Gunnar he speaks over his shoulder) What are you mumbling about?
Gunnar: Oh nothing, anyhow, what are you talking about, guessing and such. You're the guy who knows everything.
Stickers: (laughs silently then pauses) I don't know everything, just entirely too much.
Camera moves to a side view of Gunnar's face and then switches to the home of Burt Maine the fifth, where he and his son are having a friendly chat over a couple of Martini's. Burt Maine the fifth owns the yacht club, and is gruffly handsome. His son, Maccabees Montgomery lives off his father's wealth yet lives as if he would have nothing to do with him. Maccabees is evilly handsome.
Stickers: Did you bring the goods Gunnar?
Camera cuts to a close shot of Gunnar's face bathed in the green light, and then pulls back slowly as he puts his hand inside his jacket, pulls out a small white plastic bag and hands it to Stickers.
Stickers looks inside the bag…
Stickers: (highly agitated) These are fuzzy bees! I asked for fuzzy frogs!
He slams the bag into a drawer with many other plastic bags.
Gunnar: (Also agitated) What do you want? It's a late night on a weekday!! There are not a whole lot of places open that sell stickers!
Stickers: Fine! But don’t expect any extra favours.
Gunnar: All right just tell me what I want to know and I'll be gone.
Stickers: Well you know your suspicions about that incident? (pausing slightly but not enough time for an answer) Well you were right. And the other Situation, (not even taking a breath) you were wrong.
Gunnar: (still agitated) Oh well that's helpful. Give me some beef here Stickers; I need something to go on.
Stickers: Gunnar it's Port Caron, no one gets a straight answer, we just keep guessing until we get something right.
Gunnar: (mumbling under his breath) Or wrong, terribly, terribly wrong.
Stickers: (Swirling his chair until his back once again is facing Gunnar he speaks over his shoulder) What are you mumbling about?
Gunnar: Oh nothing, anyhow, what are you talking about, guessing and such. You're the guy who knows everything.
Stickers: (laughs silently then pauses) I don't know everything, just entirely too much.
Camera moves to a side view of Gunnar's face and then switches to the home of Burt Maine the fifth, where he and his son are having a friendly chat over a couple of Martini's. Burt Maine the fifth owns the yacht club, and is gruffly handsome. His son, Maccabees Montgomery lives off his father's wealth yet lives as if he would have nothing to do with him. Maccabees is evilly handsome.
Scene VI
The scene opens in Rusty Parts auto centre where Lt. Parkside has brought his cruiser.
Parkside: I really appreciate you doing this Rusty; we really need our cruiser tomorrow.
Rusty: No problem Lt, I understand your difficult situation. Rusty pulls the latch to the hood but it doesn't quite pop open, so she walks around to the front of the car and bangs her fist down onto the centre of the hood, and it does the trick. Now let's see if I can fix your problem.
The Lt. moves over in front of the car, right next to Rusty and stares at her intently; she appears to be oblivious.
Parkside: Rusty even if there was another auto shop in Port Caron, I would still come to you for my entire auto needs.
Rusty hmm's intently and focuses on the car, grabbing the parts she needs to fix the problem.
Parkside: (Attempting to regain his composure after the ignoring of his incredibly sappy compliment) So who's Harley is that? It’s a pretty sweet ride; let me guess (pauses thoughtfully) a soft-tail custom?
Rusty: Yep, 1978, it was dropped off a little while ago, (she's fixing the car all the while, and pauses in between thoughts) some mysterious drifter brought it in.
Parkside: Mysterious Drifter? That wouldn't be Gunnar T? I don’t trust that man, he's hiding something and there's always trouble when he comes into Port Caron.
Rusty finishes what she's doing in the car, shuts the hood, and then pulls a rag out from the back pocket of her overalls to wipe her hands on.
Rusty: Finished no problem at all, could've even left that until your next check-up.
Parkside: Yea well you never know when those little things you're
unsure of can become a major problem, better to take care of those things as soon as possible. If you could just put the charges towards the stations account, we'll pay it off along with everything else at the end of the month.
Rusty: She jams the rag back into her rear pocket. sure thing, anything else I can do for you?
Parkside: well you know I haven't eaten dinner yet, and I was wondering if you’ve had anything to eat yet tonight.
Rusty: (not at all surprised by the Lt.'s offer) Actually, yes, I have eaten, and I have to get to work on the Harley, so I’ll actually be quite busy tonight.
Parkside: (As he's opening the cruiser door) That's too bad Rusty, maybe some other night.
Rusty: (She shoves her hands deep into her pockets). Yea sure, Goodnight Lt.
Parkside: Goodnight Rusty.
Parkside gets into the cruiser and the camera pulls in on a full body shot of Rusty as he drives away. Camera cuts to the basement of the Spruce residence.Gunnar T. enters into the dark room. Along a wall there are several large screens casting an eerie green glow over its inhabitants. The shadow of a man with long hair, who is immeasurably handsome, only because we can’t see his face, is sitting in front of the computer. But we know he’s handsome because well you know... Anyhow Stickers swirls his swivel chair around to face Gunnar.
Parkside: I really appreciate you doing this Rusty; we really need our cruiser tomorrow.
Rusty: No problem Lt, I understand your difficult situation. Rusty pulls the latch to the hood but it doesn't quite pop open, so she walks around to the front of the car and bangs her fist down onto the centre of the hood, and it does the trick. Now let's see if I can fix your problem.
The Lt. moves over in front of the car, right next to Rusty and stares at her intently; she appears to be oblivious.
Parkside: Rusty even if there was another auto shop in Port Caron, I would still come to you for my entire auto needs.
Rusty hmm's intently and focuses on the car, grabbing the parts she needs to fix the problem.
Parkside: (Attempting to regain his composure after the ignoring of his incredibly sappy compliment) So who's Harley is that? It’s a pretty sweet ride; let me guess (pauses thoughtfully) a soft-tail custom?
Rusty: Yep, 1978, it was dropped off a little while ago, (she's fixing the car all the while, and pauses in between thoughts) some mysterious drifter brought it in.
Parkside: Mysterious Drifter? That wouldn't be Gunnar T? I don’t trust that man, he's hiding something and there's always trouble when he comes into Port Caron.
Rusty finishes what she's doing in the car, shuts the hood, and then pulls a rag out from the back pocket of her overalls to wipe her hands on.
Rusty: Finished no problem at all, could've even left that until your next check-up.
Parkside: Yea well you never know when those little things you're
unsure of can become a major problem, better to take care of those things as soon as possible. If you could just put the charges towards the stations account, we'll pay it off along with everything else at the end of the month.
Rusty: She jams the rag back into her rear pocket. sure thing, anything else I can do for you?
Parkside: well you know I haven't eaten dinner yet, and I was wondering if you’ve had anything to eat yet tonight.
Rusty: (not at all surprised by the Lt.'s offer) Actually, yes, I have eaten, and I have to get to work on the Harley, so I’ll actually be quite busy tonight.
Parkside: (As he's opening the cruiser door) That's too bad Rusty, maybe some other night.
Rusty: (She shoves her hands deep into her pockets). Yea sure, Goodnight Lt.
Parkside: Goodnight Rusty.
Parkside gets into the cruiser and the camera pulls in on a full body shot of Rusty as he drives away. Camera cuts to the basement of the Spruce residence.Gunnar T. enters into the dark room. Along a wall there are several large screens casting an eerie green glow over its inhabitants. The shadow of a man with long hair, who is immeasurably handsome, only because we can’t see his face, is sitting in front of the computer. But we know he’s handsome because well you know... Anyhow Stickers swirls his swivel chair around to face Gunnar.
Friday, June 25, 2004
Scene V
The scene opens to the library at the Cottonwood plantation, there are officers moving about the room. Deputy Grafton, Detective Grafton, and Doctor MacIntosh are standing over the body of Ellery Cottonwood.
Dr. MacIntosh: (with a Scottish accent) He's missing his lower membrane that's why he didn’t flop.
Dep. Grafton: That highly unfortunate doctor, thank you for your medical expertise. (Turning to his brother) Luc did you find anything?
Dec. Grafton: Well, I've taken the impression that he choked to death on something, but as far as I can see there is nothing lodged in his throat. I'll need the body brought back to the forensics lab for a proper inspection.
Dep. Grafton: yes of course, and we'll also have to notify his relatives as soon as possible. Did the officer find a number where we can reach the mother or daughter?
Dec. Grafton: yes he has the daughter's cell phone number (hands Chips a piece of paper), I'm going to warm up the car.
Dr. Mac: If you are done with my services I think I shall be going.
Dep. Grafton: Of course doctor, by all means go on home, if we need anything else we know where to reach you.
Dr. Mac: Goodnight Gentlemen
The camera watches the doctor exit via the library doors and then cuts to Rusty Parts auto centre where Lt. Parkside has brought his cruiser. There is a strange and mysterious motorcycle parked in the garage. Lt. Parkside is just getting out of the car; he is wearing his uniform, and is of course militarily handsome
Dr. MacIntosh: (with a Scottish accent) He's missing his lower membrane that's why he didn’t flop.
Dep. Grafton: That highly unfortunate doctor, thank you for your medical expertise. (Turning to his brother) Luc did you find anything?
Dec. Grafton: Well, I've taken the impression that he choked to death on something, but as far as I can see there is nothing lodged in his throat. I'll need the body brought back to the forensics lab for a proper inspection.
Dep. Grafton: yes of course, and we'll also have to notify his relatives as soon as possible. Did the officer find a number where we can reach the mother or daughter?
Dec. Grafton: yes he has the daughter's cell phone number (hands Chips a piece of paper), I'm going to warm up the car.
Dr. Mac: If you are done with my services I think I shall be going.
Dep. Grafton: Of course doctor, by all means go on home, if we need anything else we know where to reach you.
Dr. Mac: Goodnight Gentlemen
The camera watches the doctor exit via the library doors and then cuts to Rusty Parts auto centre where Lt. Parkside has brought his cruiser. There is a strange and mysterious motorcycle parked in the garage. Lt. Parkside is just getting out of the car; he is wearing his uniform, and is of course militarily handsome
Thursday, June 24, 2004
Scene IV
The scene opens in Max E. Streets office, where he and his secretary, Kenya Rusley, are having a late night meeting. Max E. Street is a 'legit' family businessman who is monumentally handsome.
Max: All right, now did you send out those faxes that I asked you to?
Kenya: (speaking very seductively) I do everything you ask me to, and I do it the way you like it.
Max: Fantastic! And you called the wife to ensure her that'd I be home a little late?
Kenya: oh yes I most certainly did.
Max: (completely oblivious to the fact his secretary is coming onto him) I don't understand why you insist on these late night meetings, we shouldn't work so hard.
Kenya: But Max you have so much work to do, you need to keep the
family business up to par.
Max: (He comments as he gets up to get some files from the vertical file) Very true, very true.
As Max is sitting down in his chair, Kenya goes over to the coffee maker and fills a cup with coffee, she goes to bring the cup to Max but instead of putting the cup on the desk she sits on it brushing her legs up against his arm.
Max: (nervously) It makes it hard to do paper work when you're sitting on the papers.
Kenya: (Once again, seductively) Max you need a little break. She
puts the coffee down beside her and grabs his tie.
Max: Kenya! I'm a legitimate family Businessman.
Camera cuts back to the library at the Cottonwood plantation, there are officers moving about the room. Deputy Grafton, Detective Grafton, and Doctor MacIntosh are standing over the body of Ellery Cottonwood.
Max: All right, now did you send out those faxes that I asked you to?
Kenya: (speaking very seductively) I do everything you ask me to, and I do it the way you like it.
Max: Fantastic! And you called the wife to ensure her that'd I be home a little late?
Kenya: oh yes I most certainly did.
Max: (completely oblivious to the fact his secretary is coming onto him) I don't understand why you insist on these late night meetings, we shouldn't work so hard.
Kenya: But Max you have so much work to do, you need to keep the
family business up to par.
Max: (He comments as he gets up to get some files from the vertical file) Very true, very true.
As Max is sitting down in his chair, Kenya goes over to the coffee maker and fills a cup with coffee, she goes to bring the cup to Max but instead of putting the cup on the desk she sits on it brushing her legs up against his arm.
Max: (nervously) It makes it hard to do paper work when you're sitting on the papers.
Kenya: (Once again, seductively) Max you need a little break. She
puts the coffee down beside her and grabs his tie.
Max: Kenya! I'm a legitimate family Businessman.
Camera cuts back to the library at the Cottonwood plantation, there are officers moving about the room. Deputy Grafton, Detective Grafton, and Doctor MacIntosh are standing over the body of Ellery Cottonwood.
Wednesday, June 23, 2004
Scene III
The Scene opens up back at the bar where Hooch and Skye were deep in conversation with their customers.
Hooch: where've you been Gunnar? We haven't seen you around for
months.
Gunnar: I don't discuss my goings and comings.
Fred: Sure, but what are you doing walking around on a rainy night, did your piece of crap Harley break down?
Gunnar: And I don't discuss my business with the likes of you.
Just then the restaurant door opens again the homeless woman walks in. She is dressed in rags; her hair is greasy and hanging down in her face. She looks confused, and bewildered.
Skye: What's yer name hunney? And what can I get yew?
Hobo: Name? I'm not sure… (pause with a sad look…) but I could use some coffee.
Skye: (as she grabs the coffee pot and a cup) Not sure!?! What, did ya ferget your name?
Hobo: I guess, I don't remember anything… Broom Hilda… that’s all
that comes to mind, you can call me that.
Skye: (hands her the cup and points to a stool indicating for her to sit down) Broom Hilda, eh? Sure thang hunney, but maybe we should do something about that memery of yers.
Fred: Yea, maybe the reason you can't remember your life is because the mysterious Gunnar here stole it from you. He doesn't seem to have one of his own.
Gunnar glares at Fred silently as he takes a last swig from his Shirley Temple.
B.Hilda: Maybe I'll find it tomorrow…is this refillable? (picking up the cup and holding it out)
Skye: Shure (Skye grabs the coffee pot and fills the cup) Gunnar gets up and steps away from the bar, then exits Hooch Central without saying a word.
Hooch: (turning to B.Hilda) I've seen you wandering around town, don't you have a place to stay?
B.Hilda: (in a slightly bitter tone) I've got a cardboard condo on the main street, what's it to you?
Hooch: Hey, just asking, it’s my job to be the caring bartender.
B.Hilda continues to silently drink her coffee. The camera pauses on a close up shot for a few moments and then cuts to Max E. Streets office, where he and his secretary, Kenya Rusley, are having a late night meeting. Max E. Street is a 'legit' family businessman who is monumentally handsome.
Hooch: where've you been Gunnar? We haven't seen you around for
months.
Gunnar: I don't discuss my goings and comings.
Fred: Sure, but what are you doing walking around on a rainy night, did your piece of crap Harley break down?
Gunnar: And I don't discuss my business with the likes of you.
Just then the restaurant door opens again the homeless woman walks in. She is dressed in rags; her hair is greasy and hanging down in her face. She looks confused, and bewildered.
Skye: What's yer name hunney? And what can I get yew?
Hobo: Name? I'm not sure… (pause with a sad look…) but I could use some coffee.
Skye: (as she grabs the coffee pot and a cup) Not sure!?! What, did ya ferget your name?
Hobo: I guess, I don't remember anything… Broom Hilda… that’s all
that comes to mind, you can call me that.
Skye: (hands her the cup and points to a stool indicating for her to sit down) Broom Hilda, eh? Sure thang hunney, but maybe we should do something about that memery of yers.
Fred: Yea, maybe the reason you can't remember your life is because the mysterious Gunnar here stole it from you. He doesn't seem to have one of his own.
Gunnar glares at Fred silently as he takes a last swig from his Shirley Temple.
B.Hilda: Maybe I'll find it tomorrow…is this refillable? (picking up the cup and holding it out)
Skye: Shure (Skye grabs the coffee pot and fills the cup) Gunnar gets up and steps away from the bar, then exits Hooch Central without saying a word.
Hooch: (turning to B.Hilda) I've seen you wandering around town, don't you have a place to stay?
B.Hilda: (in a slightly bitter tone) I've got a cardboard condo on the main street, what's it to you?
Hooch: Hey, just asking, it’s my job to be the caring bartender.
B.Hilda continues to silently drink her coffee. The camera pauses on a close up shot for a few moments and then cuts to Max E. Streets office, where he and his secretary, Kenya Rusley, are having a late night meeting. Max E. Street is a 'legit' family businessman who is monumentally handsome.
Scene II
The scene opens on the shot of the maid as she sees the body on the floor. She then lets a gasp out of her mouth, and a hand flew to her mouth. She then rushes to the body and begins to shake it.
Maid: (in desperation) Mista Cottonwoud!! Mista Cottonwoud!!
She looks up and around, with a scared expression, she then gets up and runs out of the room. The Camera cuts back to the bar where Hooch, (who I forgot to mention is unfortunately handsome) is looking curiously at Gunnar. Skye has silently joined the conversation.
Maid: (in desperation) Mista Cottonwoud!! Mista Cottonwoud!!
She looks up and around, with a scared expression, she then gets up and runs out of the room. The Camera cuts back to the bar where Hooch, (who I forgot to mention is unfortunately handsome) is looking curiously at Gunnar. Skye has silently joined the conversation.
Monday, June 21, 2004
Episode #409839-92753638904735257-4900-- Scene I
It's a dark and stormy night in Port Caron, and the usual gang is gathered at Hooch Central. The owners, Hooch and Skye are there, and their daughter, Fluffy is serving people who really don't matter. Fred Dickens, a dirty and strangely handsome man, is at the bar, Sergey, Spook, Bertie and Boo have grabbed a large booth over in the corner, and Jazz Bizon is crooning a country song and playing guitar on stage.
Gunnar T. enters through the Restaurant's doors, soaking wet, in a long grey trench coat, with a fedora pulled over his eyes. He is mysteriously handsome, every man who comes to Port Caron must be handsome, it’s a rule, but Gunnar is mysteriously handsome…
Anyhow, everyone stops and looks over at Gunnar T. in silence as he swaggers in, and makes his way to the bar.
Hooch walks over to Gunnar and speaks casually.
Hooch: Lovely night for a walk. Whaddya have Gunnar?
Gunnar: (looking at Hooch with a dull stare) Funny Hooch, just give me a Shirley Temple.
Fred who is sitting but a few seats away intervenes.
Fred: You can’t drink that and not be a sissy.
Gunnar: I’m not a sissy, so I can’t drink whatever I ... I mean...
Fred: (cuts in calmly) It’s a Freudian slip Gunnar, admit it you’re a sissy.
Gunnar: I'll admit I'm a sissy, when you admit you’re wrong Dickens.
Camera cuts over to the Booth, where Bertie is giving Sergey, who is handsome in a feminine way, her undivided and sympathetic attention. Boo is staring blankly looking at her laptop.
Bertie: Oh, Sergey, your ankle must be terribly painful
Sergey: Yes and I'm terribly poor as well, I've had no money since I've come here to Canada. I can't even pay my medical bills.
Boo: (excitedly interrupting) Guys! I've got a great idea for my next novel (Pauses for dramatic emphasis) Imagine this; a Polish Ballet Dancer moves to Canada looking for work, but he's dirt poor. While he's here he finds instead, a beautiful woman, and they fall in love. After some deep complications and a lot of alcohol they get married in Vegas. When they recover from their hangovers, we discover that she's really the owner of the Royal Winnipeg Ballet.
Spook: We could make it into a made-for-TV movie, and I could star as the owner.
The camera pulls in on a close up shot of Spook and then switches to the library at the Cottonwood plantation. The camera scans the room, which is only lighted by a small table lamp, until it reaches a solitary foot sticking out from around a sofa. The camera stops for a moment then swings around the couch to reveal the entire body of Mr. Cottonwood. We then hear the door to the library open, and the maid enters the room briskly on a task of sorts, until she sees the body on the floor. She then lets a gasp out of her mouth, and a hand flew to her mouth. She then rushes to the body and begins to shake it.
Gunnar T. enters through the Restaurant's doors, soaking wet, in a long grey trench coat, with a fedora pulled over his eyes. He is mysteriously handsome, every man who comes to Port Caron must be handsome, it’s a rule, but Gunnar is mysteriously handsome…
Anyhow, everyone stops and looks over at Gunnar T. in silence as he swaggers in, and makes his way to the bar.
Hooch walks over to Gunnar and speaks casually.
Hooch: Lovely night for a walk. Whaddya have Gunnar?
Gunnar: (looking at Hooch with a dull stare) Funny Hooch, just give me a Shirley Temple.
Fred who is sitting but a few seats away intervenes.
Fred: You can’t drink that and not be a sissy.
Gunnar: I’m not a sissy, so I can’t drink whatever I ... I mean...
Fred: (cuts in calmly) It’s a Freudian slip Gunnar, admit it you’re a sissy.
Gunnar: I'll admit I'm a sissy, when you admit you’re wrong Dickens.
Camera cuts over to the Booth, where Bertie is giving Sergey, who is handsome in a feminine way, her undivided and sympathetic attention. Boo is staring blankly looking at her laptop.
Bertie: Oh, Sergey, your ankle must be terribly painful
Sergey: Yes and I'm terribly poor as well, I've had no money since I've come here to Canada. I can't even pay my medical bills.
Boo: (excitedly interrupting) Guys! I've got a great idea for my next novel (Pauses for dramatic emphasis) Imagine this; a Polish Ballet Dancer moves to Canada looking for work, but he's dirt poor. While he's here he finds instead, a beautiful woman, and they fall in love. After some deep complications and a lot of alcohol they get married in Vegas. When they recover from their hangovers, we discover that she's really the owner of the Royal Winnipeg Ballet.
Spook: We could make it into a made-for-TV movie, and I could star as the owner.
The camera pulls in on a close up shot of Spook and then switches to the library at the Cottonwood plantation. The camera scans the room, which is only lighted by a small table lamp, until it reaches a solitary foot sticking out from around a sofa. The camera stops for a moment then swings around the couch to reveal the entire body of Mr. Cottonwood. We then hear the door to the library open, and the maid enters the room briskly on a task of sorts, until she sees the body on the floor. She then lets a gasp out of her mouth, and a hand flew to her mouth. She then rushes to the body and begins to shake it.
Sunday, June 20, 2004
Cast List
Cast (in order of appearance):
Hooch Central: just an ordinary pub owner who is married to Skye.
Skye: Hooch's wife, a southerner, who somehow got stuck in Canada
Fluffy: Their daughter)
Fred Dickens: A dirty man who has no life, thus he mocks others
Bertha (Bertie) Cottonwood: the only child of a rich plantation owner, she is innocent and incredibly naive, but also generous to those who donit necessarily deserve it.
Sergey Birch: A Russian ballet dancer who has immigrated to Canada but has no money.
Spook Brett: Big Time 'B' movie actress who has fallen from her fame Dom, she came to Port Caron to be with her brother, but mostly hangs out with her sister in-law. She can't stand people who aren't as beautiful as she is, so she opened Brett's Beauty Barn.
Boo Urns-Brett: Spooks sister in-law, she's a novelist who never seems to leave Hooch Central, and continuously cultivates her novel themes from the reality of life.
Jazz Bizon: Musician who never did make it big, but he never stops trying. He's so busy with his music he doesn't' seem socialize with anyone else in Port Caron, if it weren't for his music everyone would swear his just a figment of their imagination.
Gunnar T.: What's the T for? That's only part of the mystery that becomes this man. Gunnar is a drifter who occasionally cruises through town. He knows quite a bit, but doesn’t share a whole lot, but what more could you expect from a mysterious drifter?
Hobo that goes by Broom Hilda: she's a hobo with attitude
Max E. Street: Max is a legit Businessman, or at least that's what we always hear him tell us.
Kenya Rusley: Max's savoury secretary…
Dr. Willy Macintosh: The town's most prominent doctor, in fact the towns only doctor. This Scottish Scrub-wearer longs for the hills of home, but if the debutant Genevieve can keep her claws on him he won't be leaving anytime soon.
Deputy Chips Grafton: The town's deputy seems like a stern and respectable character, but if you happen to stumble upon his presence in the tunnels of Port Caron he may cap you one.
Detective Luc Grafton: Well they like to keep in the family if you catch my drift, Luc, Chips brother, is the forensic scientist in Port Caron. He ends up doing most of the dirty work.
Lt. Parkside: This officer is the I think I'm immortal type who does every outdoor activity known to man on the weekends. His immortal attitude also inflicts the reality of his love life…
Rusty Kerwood: The girl next-door type who fixes cars for a living at her garage Rusty Auto Parts
Stickers Spruce: Stickers is a computer 'programmer' who never leaves his home, he may not know everything, but he knows entirely too much. All you will ever see of this dark character is his shadow.
Burt Maine the fifth: Burt Maine owns the towns only Yacht Club, and makes a good profit from it as well, he uses his stature and riches for all the power they can buy him.
Maccabees Montegomery: Burt's rebellious son, who changed his name to spite his father.
Lady Pumpkin Centre: She is a bitter mother of 4 children, she holds the opinion that she’s wasted her life so now she's going to stick her nose in everyone else's. She accomplishes this by driving around town in her limousine with her only friend, her lap dog. She also has a poodle named Princess.
Ginger Sixth: She's the town's newest gold digger, who doesn't waste time.
Scout South: He's the lumber Jack type who maybe chopped too many trees, and now lives in a shack outside of town.
Snowy Harbour: He owns the town's marina.
Mayor Zeppelin Boca: The town's mayor.
Angel Cottonwood: Bertie's mother, and gold digger who actually has to work for her gold. She married Mr. Cottonwood thinking he had one foot in the grave but she forgets that handsome old men never die in Port Caron.
Cinnamon Blythe: Max E. Streets wife, one of those jealous domineering types
Genevieve Woodlark: A snooty Debutant who through a fusion of wit and power has started her own company called Amalgamation Makeup. Though she may seem controlling to most people, well she is controlling, but Willy MacIntosh has found her favour.
Sparky Renfrew: Seeing as Rusty Parts is the only auto shop in town Rusty needs a little help, Sparky may seem like a scrawny little punk but he could Renfrew any tough guy in Port Caron.
Hooch Central: just an ordinary pub owner who is married to Skye.
Skye: Hooch's wife, a southerner, who somehow got stuck in Canada
Fluffy: Their daughter)
Fred Dickens: A dirty man who has no life, thus he mocks others
Bertha (Bertie) Cottonwood: the only child of a rich plantation owner, she is innocent and incredibly naive, but also generous to those who donit necessarily deserve it.
Sergey Birch: A Russian ballet dancer who has immigrated to Canada but has no money.
Spook Brett: Big Time 'B' movie actress who has fallen from her fame Dom, she came to Port Caron to be with her brother, but mostly hangs out with her sister in-law. She can't stand people who aren't as beautiful as she is, so she opened Brett's Beauty Barn.
Boo Urns-Brett: Spooks sister in-law, she's a novelist who never seems to leave Hooch Central, and continuously cultivates her novel themes from the reality of life.
Jazz Bizon: Musician who never did make it big, but he never stops trying. He's so busy with his music he doesn't' seem socialize with anyone else in Port Caron, if it weren't for his music everyone would swear his just a figment of their imagination.
Gunnar T.: What's the T for? That's only part of the mystery that becomes this man. Gunnar is a drifter who occasionally cruises through town. He knows quite a bit, but doesn’t share a whole lot, but what more could you expect from a mysterious drifter?
Hobo that goes by Broom Hilda: she's a hobo with attitude
Max E. Street: Max is a legit Businessman, or at least that's what we always hear him tell us.
Kenya Rusley: Max's savoury secretary…
Dr. Willy Macintosh: The town's most prominent doctor, in fact the towns only doctor. This Scottish Scrub-wearer longs for the hills of home, but if the debutant Genevieve can keep her claws on him he won't be leaving anytime soon.
Deputy Chips Grafton: The town's deputy seems like a stern and respectable character, but if you happen to stumble upon his presence in the tunnels of Port Caron he may cap you one.
Detective Luc Grafton: Well they like to keep in the family if you catch my drift, Luc, Chips brother, is the forensic scientist in Port Caron. He ends up doing most of the dirty work.
Lt. Parkside: This officer is the I think I'm immortal type who does every outdoor activity known to man on the weekends. His immortal attitude also inflicts the reality of his love life…
Rusty Kerwood: The girl next-door type who fixes cars for a living at her garage Rusty Auto Parts
Stickers Spruce: Stickers is a computer 'programmer' who never leaves his home, he may not know everything, but he knows entirely too much. All you will ever see of this dark character is his shadow.
Burt Maine the fifth: Burt Maine owns the towns only Yacht Club, and makes a good profit from it as well, he uses his stature and riches for all the power they can buy him.
Maccabees Montegomery: Burt's rebellious son, who changed his name to spite his father.
Lady Pumpkin Centre: She is a bitter mother of 4 children, she holds the opinion that she’s wasted her life so now she's going to stick her nose in everyone else's. She accomplishes this by driving around town in her limousine with her only friend, her lap dog. She also has a poodle named Princess.
Ginger Sixth: She's the town's newest gold digger, who doesn't waste time.
Scout South: He's the lumber Jack type who maybe chopped too many trees, and now lives in a shack outside of town.
Snowy Harbour: He owns the town's marina.
Mayor Zeppelin Boca: The town's mayor.
Angel Cottonwood: Bertie's mother, and gold digger who actually has to work for her gold. She married Mr. Cottonwood thinking he had one foot in the grave but she forgets that handsome old men never die in Port Caron.
Cinnamon Blythe: Max E. Streets wife, one of those jealous domineering types
Genevieve Woodlark: A snooty Debutant who through a fusion of wit and power has started her own company called Amalgamation Makeup. Though she may seem controlling to most people, well she is controlling, but Willy MacIntosh has found her favour.
Sparky Renfrew: Seeing as Rusty Parts is the only auto shop in town Rusty needs a little help, Sparky may seem like a scrawny little punk but he could Renfrew any tough guy in Port Caron.
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